Defending the Home
When the Man Is At Work or
With the Lord

 

When You Must Go Out

By Mary Van Nattan
with
Steve Van Nattan

It is necessary to go out into the world to do business, make purchases and such. Here are some suggestions for self-defense that might work for you.  

The Bible instructs husbands, 1Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

A lot of women make it hard for their husbands/fathers to protect them properly because they have the worldly idea that they should be "independent." They are determined that they can "take care of themselves." If you have this attitude, you should give this verse more thought as to how you can help your husband (or father) honour you as the weaker vessel. Talk to your husband (or father) about it too and see what he thinks. Although it should not have to be said, there are no doubt many women today who would not have had to live through a rape or other attack if they had been with their husband, father or grown brother.

1. WELCOME AN ESCORT

One young man that we know told my mom that his dad never allows his sisters to go out on shopping trips (at least to the big city they go to) without their dad or one of their brothers being along. This applied even when they were going with a group of ladies from the church.

It is amazing how the presence of a manly looking fellow will stop the mouths and looks of dirty-minded men in public places!

2. COVER YOURSELF

We should always dress modestly, but it is good to be extra modest when going into public places. Vile men will be more interested in staring at a woman in skimpy and/or clingy clothes than in one that is dressed in full, loose clothing that covers most of her person. A general rule: The more skin that is covered, the better, and not in anything tight or transparent. Wear your wedding ring. You who think wedding rings are some Satanic toy ought to think again. Worldly men DO check this signal. Jesus said the prodigal son received a ring on his finger upon being welcomed home. Jesus would NOT have added that little item if the ring were evil in principle. If you are not married, please consider wearing a ring on your wedding ring finger. It's a matter of defense.

3. LOOK BORING

Strive to look neat and clean, but not particularly attractive. Being attractive to your husband in private situations is fine, but attracting attention in worldly environments is not desirable. If you wish, you could even go so far as to wear a color that does not suit your complexion. Long hair, especially loose, can be very alluring to some men. If you have particularly long attractive hair may it might be wise not wear it loose nor in an attention drawing style. Pin it all up securely or braid it plainly. If you still are attracting "fresh" remarks you may need to seriously consider wearing a head covering when you go shopping. This is not law nor to make you spiritual, but simply to put off the hustlers. We've heard of women having trouble with lude and "fresh" remarks and my brother is very suspicious that it may well have to do with the women's long flowing hair, which some men find very provocative. Also, if your little girls have hair like this and you are experiencing this problem, you may want to try braiding their hair when you go out in public and see if the remarks diminish.

4. COMPLAIN

In any business establishment, if you receive advances or suggestive comments from employees or customers, complain at once  to the management. Do not reward these businesses with future business unless a full apology is forthcoming from the management.

5. IF ATTACKED

If troubled or approached in a public area, do not hesitate to call the police at once. Move to a public area where a number of people are present to wait for the police to arrive. Do carry some form of self-defense. This may be a commercial mace type defense item, or it could be a spray bottle of ammonia. Aim for the eyes or chest. If you feel compelled to learn karate or martial arts to be safe, this may show that you are out and about in the wrong places and without your family's protection as God gave it to you. One of the best strategies if you are approached by a sex maniac is to put your finger down your throat and throw up on him. If you feel comfortable about carrying a gun, learn to use it, and realize that it can be grabbed and used against you also. If you ever pull a gun, use it-- kill the attacker. If he is dead you will not have him to enter evidence against you in court. Also, if he is dead he will not try his tricks again on another lady.

6. GET OUT OF TOWN

If the city or community where you live is getting to be unusually dangerous, such as New York City, MOVE! You are NOT called of God to live in a rapist infested area. The disadvantages you may experience by moving into a smaller and safer community are not possible to compare with the aftermath of rape or mugging. Cities which will not use the death penalty and execute its rapists and murderers should be left to the Liberal idiots who have hatched the mess by their wimpy politics. Try Billings, Montana or Freeman, South Dakota. If this applies to your family, please talk to your husband about what is right and safe and where to live. Staying in a dangerous city environment just because it's fun to live there is unwise. [Note: If your husband is ministering to people in a large city environment, please prayerfully ask the Lord to give your husband and you wisdom and help in protecting yourself and your children - both boys and girls - from perverts and from danger. If the Lord truly wants your family there for the preaching of the cross of Christ, then He will give you wisdom and help in dealing with the situation. But, don't get the careless attitude that nothing could happen because "we're doing God's work." He expects you to use the brain He gave you and to seek His wisdom. James 1:5]

7. BE MODEST ABOUT ACCEPTING HELP

Above all else, when your husband or sons want to protect you, do NOT get insulted, as if you can take care of yourself. Welcome this, and plan on it.  It is exceedingly rare for a woman to be raped when her grown son is along at her side glaring at all the hustlers. Also, do NOT worry about the impression your son will make. Decent men are impressed when a husky 18 year old boy is comfortably accompanying his mother through Wal-Mart. The slobs are the ones who will resent it, so who cares?

 

When the Man Is at Work

Teresa G. of Texas says that she NEVER lets ANY man , except her father or brothers, step into their home when her husband isn't there.  Not even their pastor (who knows better anyway) or friends are allowed in unless accompanied by their wives.

When repairmen or plumbers (etc.) have to come when her husband isn't there, she calls her pastor's wife and invites her over.  One time her pastor's wife was too busy to come, so Teresa called her husband, Corbet at work and told him.  When it was time for the plumbers to come her husband called her and talked to her until they  left.  He also talked to the plumber to find out what was wrong with the plumbing.

Home Maker's Corner editor: Think this sounds crazy? 1 Thessalonians 5:22 Abstain from all appearance of evil. Romans 12:17 Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. Think again! This is good for your testimony's sake, and for safety as well. Your husband may not have a job in which he can call you and talk to you for that length of time like Teresa's can, but how about calling another lady friend and inviting her over? Or perhaps you have an elderly lady that lives near you who enjoys visiting that you could invite over?

The principle here is the same as in 1 Corinthians 7:1-2 which says,  Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.  2  Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. You never heard of anyone getting into fornication or adultery without touching. Folks also don't usually get into fornication or adultery without being alone together at some point, unless they are in some weird cult. To take these precautions is not only necessary for you safety, which is obvious, it's also necessary to keep a clean testimony.

Please don't bother us with a bunch of excuses and hypothetical cases, or with situation ethics.  We aren't interested in that garbage. 

This from Angela G. of Virginia

I just wanted to comment on the woman (Teresa G_____) who called her husband while having a repairman in her home. I, too, think a man should not be in a woman's house without her husband home. You cited the verse, 1 Thessalonians 5:22 Abstain from all appearance of evil. Well, as far as any neighbors could tell (and in truth), she WAS in the house alone with the plumber.  They certainly had no way of knowing she was on the phone with her husband. While I agree it was better than nothing, I feel it may not be wise. I also think of her safety and if she had been threatened in some way, how helpless her husband would have been to come to her aid.

Home Maker's Corner editor: This is sound instruction.  Just a thought though regarding the protection concern, Teresa's husband may work close enough to home for him to get there quickly if a problem arose.  Also, they may have good police.   But, lest you be tempted to argue with Angela or disregard her sound advice, let me say that she does not have a husband in her home to protect her at all, so she knoweth whereof she speaketh.

       

background and graphics by mary vannattan