| Things
Your Parents Told You |
| - I don't care who has one. You're not getting one. - Because I love you, that's why. - You learned that from your father/mother. - You've pulled on that shirt so much it looks like a dress! - You found a mud puddle didn't you? - Simmer down! - That coffee table was not made for you to rub your feet on. - Now what are you going to do with it? [Usually said after you broke something or messed it up.] - You need that like you need a hole in the head. - Take your hat off in the house! - Eat it or wear it! - What's the matter with you anyway? - How would you like to write an essay on being kind to your brother/sister? - Stop shaking your leg! - Nobody asked you. - If you don't pick that up, you might get to sleep with it. - I'll nag you if I feel like it, you're my son/daughter. - If I had wanted you to do that, I would have told you to. - You've been playing with my pen, haven't you? - I'm going to give you until the count of three. - Don't pick, it'll get infected. - I don't want to hear that again. - Who do you think you are? - Not another word out of you! - What, you want more money? - If I catch you doing that one more time, I'll... - When you don't listen to your Mom, that's when you get into trouble. - Someday your face will freeze like that! - What if everyone jumped off a cliff? Would you do it, too? - Look at me when I'm talking to you. - You're going to put your eye out with that thing! - Do you think your socks are going to pick themselves up? - Your father is going to hear about this when HE gets home! - How many times do I have to tell you...don't throw things in the house! - Were you born in a barn? Close the door -- and DON'T slam it! - Don't EVER let me catch you doing that again! - Move it or loose it. - Be good -- and don't do ANYTHING to embarrass your parents. - No child of MINE would do something like that. - You'll never live to see sixteen!! - There's someone either dying or being created under your bed--look at all this dust! - Eat your meat. - Did you flush? - I worry about you. - Can you give me an itinerary for your trip? - I hate having you drive alone at night. - You don't WANT to clean your room? You don't have to Want to! - A man who plays when he should be working will never amount to much. - There's enough dirt in those ears to grow potatoes! - What would you do if I wasn't here? - Work first, and then play. - Somebody's gonna end up crying. - AFTER you pick up your room, make your bed, brush your teeth and comb your hair, THEN you can go out to play. - Don't say SHUT UP! - Close your mouth when you're eating -- you look like a cow! - I don't care what "everyone" is doing, I care what YOU are doing! - What will the neighbors think? - Who do you think you are? - When I was a little girl ... - When I was a boy... - Do I have to send you an engraved invitation? Come eat! - Two wrongs do not make a right. - Don't talk with your mouth full! - I wish you kids could see videos of yourselves eating! - How are things in your little life? - Don't leave any crumbs on the counter! - Do I embarrass you? - If you slouch like that, you'll get a hump in your back. - You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your relatives. - Sit like a lady! - When are you going to take your bath? - Do you want a time-out? - I don't care if Jimmy's Mom said yes. - Wipe your feet!! - Go ask your father. - What did your mother say? - Wrong, there's plenty of things to do, like clean your room. - Enough is enough! - It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt. - I'm tired of seeing you do that. - Whose shoes are these!? - I wasn't born yesterday. - Eat over the table. - You are being obnoxious. - Nice shot, marbles. - How many times do I have to tell you... - When was the last time you took a shower? - Slow down. - Park yourself. - You are going to clean this room up before you go to bed. - That's enough. You don't know what you're talking about. - I've heard that excuse before. | - So you want to slam the door do you? I'll give you a chance. You just slam it ten time for me now. 1.....2.....3.....It's not so fun now, is it? 4.....5..... - If you want to rough house, go outside! - You certainly do amuse you. - You'll live to regret that. - How many times do I have to tell you!? GET UP! - You look like an Indian in war paint. - If God had intended you to wear pierced earrings, He would have made you with holes in your ears. - Where did you hear that word?! - Don't interrupt. - Can I talk now? - Oh, you think so do you? - We paid good money for those shoes, you can stop working them over like that. - Do you see that girl? You are never going to marry a girl like that! - Oh no you are not going to bring that in here! - I thought I told you to pick this up! - Don't tell me you didn't do it; nobody else could have. - "I can't" never could do anything. - You better quit while you're ahead. - That looks terrible! Go change your clothes! - I wish you'd... - "I don't know" is NOT an answer. - Don't put that in your mouth, you don't know where it's been. - If you don't do it NOW, then when are you going to do it? - Only boring people get bored. - What do you mean you aren't going to eat everything on your plate? - Think of those poor starving children in India. [ To which Johnny answers, "Fine, send my spinach to them." ] - You can't find it? Well, where did you leave it last? - If bologna was a tin horn you'd have an orchestra! - Money does NOT grow on trees. - I'm not everyone else's parents and you're not everyone else! - Five minutes of pleasure is not worth a lifetime of trouble. - You made your bed, now lie in it. - This hurts me more than it hurts you. - Don't make me tell you again. - Stop your crying before I give you something to cry about. - Don't go out with a wet head, you'll catch cold. - I'm not Jason's mom, I'm your mom and I care what happens to you. - I'm not going to tell you how to spell that when you can look it up in the dictionary. - Life isn't fair. - Would you do that if the Queen were here? - Because nagging is what I do best. - Did you iron that? - I don't THINK soo...!! - Don't use that tone with me! - Look it up in your contract: I'm the Mom, you're the kid. I get to do the nagging. - What do you mean carry me? I carried you for nine months!! - I'm not here to entertain you. - Am I talking to a brick wall? - Eat those carrots, they're good for your eyesight. You never see rabbits wearing glasses, do you? - You had better wipe that smile off your face before I do it for you. - There's no shame in being poor, but there is shame in being dirty! - Speak up; I can't hear your head rattle. - Never leave the house hungry. - Eat the crust of your bread. It's good food. - I resign! - Who told you that?! - Remember who you are. - The acorn doesn't fall far from the tree. - Act your age, but don't crawl. - You just have big bones. - But you have a beautiful complexion. - Well, of all the stupid things...! - You must get that from your father's side of the family. - I would have never talked to MY mother like that! - If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. - Fools' names and fools' faces often appear in public places. [After seeing a little boy following his older brothers's example, my grandpa added, "And the little squirts that don't know better follow the fools to the letter."] - I hope someday you have children just like you. - I'm going to have the last word! - This, too, shall pass. - I don't know why you turned out the way you have. - Wear clean underwear in case you get in a car wreck and have to go to the hospital. - If you'd open your eyes as wide as your mouth, you'd find what you're looking for. - Pretty is as pretty does. - I'm not just talking to hear my own voice. - Shut your mouth and eat. [This poses a problem physically.] - Somebody's room needs some attention. - How would you like to sleep with those dirty socks? - Daddy doesn't think your oatmeal is funny all over his shirt. - Did grandma get you ice cream at Thrifty's again and spoil your supper? - Go tell Daddy he wants you. - Because I said so, that's why. - If you don't quit that, you're going the eat at the kitchen counter by yourself. - I wish you could see yourself doing that! - How ya doin' there? (Usually said after a small mishap at the table.) - This is your last chance. - Don't sneeze like that. You'll blow your eardrums out. - Chew your food before you swallow it. - You know that isn't true. |
NOTE: All new quotes added at the top.
