Searching for the Truth in the King James Bible;
Finding it, and passing it on to you.

Steve Van Nattan




It is a wicked social tool used by Satan and fallen man
to call us from duty to Christ to climbing.
No one can escape it.

CHAPTER THREE: The Tools of Climbing
A discussion of the tricks and devices
used by those distracted by climbing into power

I strongly recommend that you go to
Chapter One of this series to get the context and flow right.

The tools of a mountain climber are unique. And, like the mountain climber and his tools and techniques, we must learn a whole new vocabulary and social apologetic to climb up to the Inner Ring.

So, here are some of the tools of Inner Ring climbing. If you care to one day hear, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant....," you must avoid these Satanic devices like the plague.

Praying and Preaching like a Bishop

When I was a kid growing up in Kenya and Tanzania, I was in many meetings when public prayer was made. Some notable warrior was asked to "open in prayer," and what followed was part doctrinal dissertation, part grand elocution, and part suspense. The suspense was the feeling that this would never end.

Here is the bombast, bluster, and bull by a pompous Catholic bimbo:

Here is a Baptist preacher 100% in the flesh exalting ONLY himself, If I were to call him a damned fool I suppose I would be overstepping, but then again, maybe he IS a damned fool. Only a fool on his way to hell would publicly speak of his wife as "smokin' hot."


These phrases will give you away as a climber and creep to God-fearing people. You may sound clever to other trendy professional church house climbers, but truck drivers and housewives will not have a clue what you are talking about.

"Touch base"

Being on the "same page"

"Circle the wagons"

"Low hanging fruit"

"Bandwidth" double meaning

"Drinking from a firehose"

"Mission critical"

"On the same page" trendy use

"Out of the loop" Except in London traffic :-)

"Paradigm shift" New Age

"Peel the onion"

"Pipeline" Cryptic use

"Value added"



"Global" trendy use


"Push the envelope"

"Knowledge base"

"MOM" corporate meaning

"Let's take this off-line"

"Out of Pocket"


"Ramp up"

"Roll out"

"Segue" Never use this


"Empower" as in motivating



"Stay focused"

"Bottom line"

"Synergy" Unless you define

"Al Desco"

"Bell" corporate meaning

"People focused"

"Leverage" except in physics


"Beat the bushes"

"Buzz" corporate meaning


"Let your speech be seasoned with salt," not with cryptic catch words.

Jesus spent his whole life with ordinary parents, fishermen, and listeners. He kept his speech simple and open faced. If you give way to trendy climbing chatter, you are as useless as tits on a boar hog.



Flattery was the first tool of Satan in the Garden to cause Eve to fall and Adam later. If you use flattery to get what you want, whether giving, power, or even professions of faith, YOU are a devil in sheep's clothing.

Genesis 3:1 Now the serpent was more subtil than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?
2 And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden:
3 But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die.
4 And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die:
5 For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.

Job's friends flattered him, and then they attacked him. This is an old trick of perverted "ministers" of the Church. They flatter you, and then they make merchandise of you. Rebuke them soundly and walk off.

Job speaks: Job 17:5 He that speaketh flattery to his friends, even the eyes of his children shall fail.

Elihu, the only "friend" of Job who was not rebuked by God for his words for Job. This implies that God's Spirit was actually in Elihu's words to Job. Thus, Elihu speaks as he is preparing to rebuke Job:

Job 32:21 Let me not, I pray you, accept any man's person, neither let me give flattering titles unto man.
22 For I know not to give flattering titles; in so doing my maker would soon take me away.

David shows us the character of flatterers:

Psalms 5:8 Lead me, O LORD, in thy righteousness because of mine enemies; make thy way straight before my face.
9 For there is no faithfulness in their mouth; their inward part is very wickedness; their throat is an open sepulchre; they flatter with their tongue.

Psalms 12:2 They speak vanity every one with his neighbour: with flattering lips and with a double heart do they speak.
3 The LORD shall cut off all flattering lips, and the tongue that speaketh proud things:
4 Who have said, With our tongue will we prevail; our lips are our own: who is lord over us?

When you flatter some patriarch whom you hope will raise you into the heavenlies of religious, corporate, or any other area of life, you have a double agenda, and if you claim to be a Bible believer, God will make a great fool of you soon. You will become famous for being a jackass.

When you flatter men for gain, you make it VERY clear that you have no fear of God. A man who does not fear God is a servant of Satan.

Psalms 36:1 The transgression of the wicked saith within my heart, that there is no fear of God before his eyes.
2 For he flattereth himself in his own eyes, until his iniquity be found to be hateful.
3 The words of his mouth are iniquity and deceit: he hath left off to be wise, and to do good.
4 He deviseth mischief upon his bed; he setteth himself in a way that is not good; he abhorreth not evil.

That is YOU preacher-- bishop, Pope, whoever you are. You are wicked, and your flattery identifies you as a spiritual fraud. Let me make this just as clear as the Psalmist does. You are not born again, you do not hear from God, you do not have wisdom worth more than a bug under a cow chip. You are damned to hell because you are a high minded mischief maker, and you tolerate all manner of evil in your self-serving cause.

Daniel give the prophecy regarding the coming Antichrist or Prince who shall come to subject the world to Satan during the period known as "Jocob's Trouble," or The Great Tribulation. This evil man uses flatter to conquer, and there is not one bit of difference between him and a flattering preacher like Jack Hyles and maybe YOU.

Daniel 11:21 And in his estate shall stand up a vile person, to whom they shall not give the honour of the kingdom: but he shall come in peaceably, and obtain the kingdom by flatteries.
22 And with the arms of a flood shall they be overflown from before him, and shall be broken; yea, also the prince of the covenant.
23 And after the league made with him he shall work deceitfully: for he shall come up, and shall become strong with a small people.

Daniel 11:32 And such as do wickedly against the covenant shall he corrupt by flatteries: but the people that do know their God shall be strong, and do exploits.

Daniel 11:34 Now when they shall fall, they shall be holpen with a little help: but many shall cleave to them with flatteries.

Are you deceived by a flattening fool in a three piece suit every Sunday Morning? He brags on your local church, all the hard works people do, and exalts those who give. This is NOT godly discourse-- it is damned to hell flattery. The ONLY One who should receive the glory is Jesus Christ.

Reader, if your pastor is such a man, he is not born again. If he flatters you, you are a damned fool if you inhale the incense. He does NOT love you in Christ-- he is trying to give you the cheap reward of flattery in order to gain your loyalty, your attendance, your tithes, and your slavery to him. There is NO righteous motive in flattery. You must either flee the bastard son of Belial. If you are in authority in your local assembly, you must destroy him and run him off by opening up all of his wickedness to the assembly. You will be wounded because this sort of pastor is Satanic, and the devil will seek to destroy you. But, "greater is he that is in you than he that is in the world."

Please do not waste your time rebuking the flatterer and reasoning with him. If he agrees with you and seems to be humble in receiving the rebuke, it will only be to deceive you into thinking you are wise and spiritual so that you will hang around and keep serving him.

Ezekiel 12:24 For there shall be no more any vain vision nor flattering divination within the house of Israel.

This is the future Messiah telling Israel what the future Kingdom will be like. If you are a master flatterer now, you will not be fit to rule and reign with Christ for a thousand years inn the future. You are a scum bag.

Honors, Introductions, and Entrée

Entrée: Definition- A dish served in formal dining immediately before the main course.

This is the MC, or the pretty boy who gives the introduction of the main speaker at the plenary session.

This is the dip head preacher who gave the endless verbose introduction of J. Vernon McGee at an Independent Fundamental Churches of America banquet that I attended at Knotts Berry Farm long ago. Virtually everyone but the waitresses knew who Dr. McGee was because "his works go before him." Never mind, this jerk de jeur stole twenty minutes of McGee's time to verbally fan him like some slave fanned Sheik Ibn Betuta long ago. Dr. McGee came to the podium and said, "That's a pack of lies." He tried to get his balance, but I was disappointed that McGee did not publicly rebuke the man for trying to exalt him above measure. The son of Belial deserved that.

I am sure that flattery is at its worst form when power people are being introduced. It tempts the target of the flattery into false humility, and eventually the glory boy will hand a prompt sheet to the MC to make sure he is exalted to meet his expectations.

I went to hear Jack Hyles of First Baptist of Hammond, Indiana speak in Grand Rapids, Michigan long ago, and the introduction went on and on ad nauseum. Jack Hyles is a master of false humility. He got up and claimed his life was all about serving Jesus Christ, and, "I just want to be a blessing to someone," and then he went wore us all out telling one story after the other about Jack being humble and Jack being ordinary, and Jack being a barnyard jack. Jesus never did that, and he never allowed anyone to introduce him.

The only time an Apostle got a really splendid introduction, he turned and blasted the introducer:

Acts 16:16 And it came to pass, as we went to prayer, a certain damsel possessed with a spirit of divination met us, which brought her masters much gain by soothsaying:
17 The same followed Paul and us, and cried, saying, These men are the servants of the most high God, which shew unto us the way of salvation.
18 And this did she many days. But Paul, being grieved, turned and said to the spirit, I command thee in the name of Jesus Christ to come out of her. And he came out the same hour.

Next time a grand exaggerated introduction is in progress, try Paul's method. It is in order



Politicians who arrive at the top of the Inner Ring are those who, among other talents, know how to use and abuse statistics to make themselves look productive, make the voters panic, and make the opposition look incompetent. No lie is more potent than statistics run amuck.

On the other extreme of the Inner Ring game, Fundamental Baptist preachers are masters of the use of statistics. "We had 300 people go forward to receive Christ, and 200 baptisms." This means that they walked, and that is all. If you went looking for these walkers and dunkers a year later you would find maybe twelve in church services every Sunday. "By their fruits ye shall know them," said Jesus, and by the fruits of the preacher we know that his definition of being "born again" is defective at best-- more likely is is simply a lie. MORE ON ALTAR CALLS

The same is done with buses for Sunday School attendance. These buses may be loaded with kids, but the number that stick and turn up in ANY local church fifteen years later is minuscule. "Well, if any are really saved it is worth it" is the cover story for the vanity of a long row of buses out front on the parking lot between Sundays. What a tribute to the preacher, and what a powerful impression on those power people up the Inner Ring.

Meanwhile, the parents of the kids love that preacher because they can sleep in on Sunday morning and have a bedroom episode without the rug rats under foot. That damned bus program is of no higher impact on the building of the Church if Jesus Christ than the day care program at the public school. In fact, that braggy preacher is simply removing the kids from the family one more day of the week.

My I be blunt? I believe the use of statistics by Fundamental Baptist and Bible church preachers is one of the best ways to determine if the preacher himself is born again. To be comfortable with lying and lying and lying, by the use of damned to hell statistics, at preachers' conventions, in the pulpit, and even at the barber shop, is all the proof I need to nail a preacher as demon possessed and damned to hell in a handbasket. SELAH

James 3:11 Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter?
12 Can the fig tree, my brethren, bear olive berries? either a vine, figs? so can no fountain both yield salt water and fresh.
13 Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom.



Degrees and Titles

My first job out of college was in Brown Paper Company in Kalamazoo, Michigan. The paper company had never had a sample area where there was a complete inventory of samples available from all thirteen of its divisions around America. The company was ninety years old at that time, and I had the rare fun of bringing into existence an entity, in a huge old company, for the first time.

My boss was the head of the Quality Control Department. He was fussy and fanatical in his job, and he was probably the only one in the whole company determined to make our paper the best in the marketplace. And, the poor soul got very little or no recognition for his zeal.

Well, the Sample Area was to be lodged in a room which was restored after being abandoned many years before as as a motor winding shop, and on the huge newly painted green double doors my boss wanted to post a title for me. Now, I had visions of "Sample Director" or "Sample Manager," or something equally impressive. Paper samples would be taken from every run of a product in the paper mill and be sent to me in huge gray boxes. My only fellow employee, Burt, would cut the paper on a prehistoric monster paper cutter, and samples were made ready for our sales people to send to potential customers.

Well, my boss labored long and hard over the dictionary to find a title for me that would intimidate the union workers in the paper mill, but a title that would not be quite as impressive as his title.

I went to work one morning, and there was my new title on the big green door-- SAMPLE EXPEDITER

What a let down. I soon figured out that my boss was terrified of ending up in my shadow, especially if the sales department happened to fall in love with me and a new toy that would help them sell paper. I felt sorry for my boss because he really did need some recognition, but he would never get it because he had the most potent cop image in any company. Even the CEO could not force him to lower quality standards.

Well, my new title worked wonders. The sales people smiled and lined up for samples. That worked great and sales went up. The the funniest thing was that the union members on the floor of the paper mill had no idea how important an "EXPEDITER" really was. In fact, I was the lowest possible white collar member of "management," but the mystery of the title frightened them into sending samples I ordered from the mill without the usual quadruplicate forms being filled out. My boss was smarter than I thought after all.

Titles are passed out and coveted mightily in business and politics, but especially in Christendom. Whether you make the rank of Pope or the title of Moderator of the business meeting of the Fire Baptized Church of the Apostolic Succession in Watts, California, a title is powerful stuff my friend. It means you are NOT ordinary, and it is the step to higher things (except for Pope, in which case, the next step is a demotion to shovel coal in hell when you die). But, it is also a step away from the real people of the Lord's Church, the people he came to and spent his time with. More on this later.

Now, one of the most useful things to help you get titles, like President of the Session, Great Missionary Statesman, or Worshipful Master of the Lodge, is to get degrees along the way. A BA will not get you much, but an MA will help a lot. It also helps to get a degree in Business Management rather than Mathematical Epistemology. In fact, I once knew a guy who had a degree in Mathematical Epistemology in Arizona, and he had also inherited a fantastic apple orchard from his parents. He worked the orchard and wrote text books on Mathematical Epistemology on the side. Between the two he made a decent living. If you want a place in the Inner Ring, get a degree in Law. No one can argue with that because you can sue them cheap if they do.

In Christendom nothing but a Doctorate or PhD will do to give the upper crust incentive to jerk you bodily into the kingdom of light and free donuts. And, in Christendom there is a great short cut if you can pull it off and cover your tracks. There is a "Fundamental Baptist King James Bible Only University" housed in the basement of a Doctorate Panzi scheme in a guy's basement in Colorado. You pay "tuition," which he then declares to be tax free because the steeple on his garage qualifies him to be a Non Profit Corporation, AND in turn he sends you a PhD in Theology with a sho-nuf gold embossed parchment diploma. I suspect that 60% of the doctorates in Fundamentalism and Charismania are mail order.

Now, in later years, after you reach "Keynote Speaker of the Plenary Session" of the Inner Ring, skeptics will invariably check up on you wanting to actually read your doctoral thesis. Well, many of you boys will drop five steps down the Inner Ring when the world learns you never wrote a doctoral thesis. So, the prudent "President" of Christian Patriot University in Grand Junction, your alma mater, will ask you to write a thesis and submit it into his file cabinet behind the washing machine in his basement. Do write the thesis.

One famous preacher, who "attended" the university above via email, wrote a twenty page thesis, probably cut and pasted from Wikipedia, and it was duly filed behind the washing machine as evidence of his mighty effulgent gifts of scholarship. He later told folks the thesis was over 200 pages long. Many years later, after the good Doctor had made it to just two inches short of the top of the Inner Ring, some crank way down the Inner Ring decided to read the thesis. The spoil sport managed to con the "President of the University" to send him a copy, and the alleged PhD was debunked and fell from the heavenlies among Fundamentalist movers and shakers.

If you want a degree and title, do just one little bit of real work in your life, you jerk-- write a believable thesis. If you don't do this, your poor kids will inherit 5000 copies of you book on The Evils of Evolution, and some may even deny the faith when they figure out that Daddy was a fraud.

James 1:9 Let the brother of low degree rejoice in that he is exalted:
10 But the rich, in that he is made low: because as the flower of the grass he shall pass away.

Things simply run 180 degrees the other way in the Kingdom of God in the Church Age, EXCEPT with the Inner Ring. They are obsessed with degrees. Indeed, they have many degrees and no temperature.


I want to revisit the story above about Jack Hyles and tell you about his homiletics method (preaching style). Jack Hyles read a verse from the Bible, and in his inimitable manner, proceeded to tell several cute stories about himself and his kids blah blah blah. They were all supposed to have happened to him, not in old copies of Reader's Digest. Now, who would ever think Hyles would steal a story to exalt himself.

Well, the morning of exaltation of the Great Doctor ended with a weak moral application of Jack's life story to the Christian life, and we were all to go to lunch and return to hear the rest of his self-exalting yarns, which were illustrated by one verse, Hebrews 12:8 (not really), and I drifted to the foyer for lunch in the city. A bunch of Baptist pretty boys were milling around the foyer pretending to be chatting with each other. Hyles puttered about getting on his coat and seemed to be killing time. Finally, I got an epiphany. This whole shuffling process was to give time for the order of the peck to take find its place.

At a point when Jack Hyles sensed that the roosters had all found their places, the guru roared something cute about lunch, and this mob of bishop cum groupies charged out the door, down the steps, and across the parking lot. They were in a perfect wedge like snow geese. Jack lead the way of course, the pastor of the church we were at was on one side of him, the chairman of the Baptist Bible Fellowship of Michigan on the other side of Hyles, and on either phalanx of the flying wings were pastors who had graduated from either Hyles Anderson College of Bob Jones University. Of course the Bob Jones boys were at the far ends of the two wings.

If you want to climb the Inner Ring of Christendom my friend, you need to master the art of pushing and shoving in between other climbers and the mightily guru while smiling and pretending you love the guys you shoulder out of the way. You can easily use stealth to accomplish this. Simply tell the pastor of the church that you told Jack before the service that you are taking him to lunch. It need not be true, but the local pastor will see at once that you should be to the immediate right or left of the guru because you are footing the bill. Before you all charge out the door, slide up to Jack, and ask him, "Did the pastor tell you that I am taking you to lunch?" "Why that is so good of you, dear brother, and I really appreciate that."

As you rise higher and higher you will learn to master the art of covering your posterior, a noble trait of those in the Inner Ring. But, appearing to be clean is not enough-- you need to connect with someone closer to the guru than you. Do, keep connections below though, for one day you may fall several rings back because of a leadership change or because of you own folly. In that case, the guy just below you will end up just above you, and if you stepped on his head on the way up, he will not jerk you back up the rings behind him. Pick out a worthy person just below you, and try to jerk him up a ring as you go up. This guy will then push from the rear as you jockey your way onward and upward.

A Library

One way to impress the elite up the organization is to display a massive library that is made up of egg heads and famous scholars. A minimum of 5000 books is suggested for a climbing pastor. You can get these cheap at Goodwill Industries. Sign them as if they were gifts from you college instructors or from highly placed gurus.

Also, look at yard sales. One day you will get lucky with some heathen who is selling his uncle's library, the uncle that was a pastor for 60 years. Buy every book you can find on the cults, and you will be thought of as a real Christian warrior who specializes in bashing cults. That might even get you a guest lectureship at Tennessee Temple or Crown College.

Also, get a library fast by surfing used book web sites, and buy only the books that the seller describes as, "Worn out, pages look like a pillow, and scribble throughout in Greek and Hebrew." Just sign you name, date the signature twenty years ago, and write below it, "If this book is lost, please call Ludlow 3491 and I will pay you the postage to return it to me." Write your address from when you were a freshman in college, and be sure not to add the zip code.


Post articles online on a web site, like this one (ouch). Just do not ever be controversial with the Inner Ring you want to climb. Also, start a forum in which you bump out the common folk and exalt the high and mighty. Ask loaded questions on the forum, inviting the next fellow up the ring from you to respond. Then, fawn over his answers in the comment area, no matter how dumb and banal they may be.

Regularly visit the web sites and blogs of those people who are higher up your Inner Ring, and make patronizing comments to their articles. When someone attacks your guru above, attack the offender, thus inviting your guru to give you public hugs at the next pastor's convention.

Also, use Facebook to build and élite club of groupies. Invite the power people, and when you get some famous Amos as a "friend" or "follower," fan their ego with flattery.

The best possible trick to pull of is to so inspire the admiration of Inner Ring members above you that they quote you on their web Blog or in fellowship gatherings. Search at Google for "Quotes" and "Baptist" to find great quotes you can plagiarize on your web site or in blogs. Quote the guru you are following copiously in your blogs, web pages, and on Facebook.

You can literally advertise in the newspaper. If you see a copy of The Sword of the Lord laying around, grab it and look at the ads. There are a whole bunch of ads taken out by churches from Nome to Nicaragua. They have NOTHING to do with building the local church. They DO have much to with presence-- the presence of DOCTOR Bully Belly Smith. You want to be sure to have a photo of yourself in the ad of course so that every preacher who gets the Sword of the Lord will recognize you easily at the next preachers' rally.