UPDATE: 2006-- Where are they Benny, you mongrel scum bag?

Late Dec. 1999-

"Charismatic leader Benny Hinn on Paul & Jan Crouch's TBN said people are going to be raised from the dead watching TBN. He said 'People are going to be canceling funeral services and bringing their dead in their caskets, placing them before a TV set, waiting for God's power to touch them.' He said they would be raised from the dead by the thousands (11/22 Chr. News). . . Hinn . . . has left his Orlando church and moved to Dallas. In Jan. he breaks ground for a $30-$35 million Healing Center in Dallas, which will operate 24 hours a day when opened in 2001."

(THE CALVARY CONTENDER, VOL. XVI NO. 24, December 15, 1999)

Editor:  I have a 1978 Lincoln which needs some healing.  I wonder if I parked it in front of the TV, could Benny give it the cure?  The above trick will be pretty sensational rally, since the dead people will have already been pumped full of embalming fluid and will have no blood.  This means God will create new blood for them.  Benny of course is blowing the breeze and just making cute talk for a lot of old ladies who missed the last ambulance to the B ward and are killing time in front of their TVs.  How very sad.