Searching for the Truth in the King James Bible;
Finding it, and passing it on to you.




EDITOR:
Steve Van Nattan

HOME PAGE

HOME - TABLE OF CONTENTS - WAR ROOM - THE GOSPEL - BIBLE STUDY - MORAL ISSUES - KING JAMES BIBLE - CULTS
HUMOR - PROPHECY - WORLD AFFAIRS - QUIET PLACE - STEVE'S YARNS - STEVE'S BIO - HEALTH - LADIES' PAGE - HEROES








 

LAW KEEPER'S
FECES PADDLE

Ideal for Hebrew Roots people.
You must keep all the law,
and we help you do it right.






The official Feces Paddle of the Law Keepers of the world

Painted dark blue, with a raw hide thong to hook "upon thy weapon", and a Solomonic gold band around the end of the handle, this is a feces paddle worthy of a king. The front and back of the spoon have the Old Testament and New Testament teachings on the doctrine of the feces paddle so that no sincere Law Keeper can miss the great urgency of carrying one of these sacred instruments.

Someone will say, "Look here now, the feces paddle was for the days when sanitation was not as developed as it is now in modern times, so the feces paddle is obsolete."

LIE!

The point is, the feces paddle is not just to cover "what cometh from thee," it is a mark of a faithful Law Keeper. To cast aside even one law of Moses is to defy the doctrine of salvation by works. If you intend to save yourself by works, you need to add every possible accouterment of the Old Covenant.

 


There is virtually NO other source world wide where you can get your very own
feces paddle to carry with you. This is one of 365 individual Mosaic laws that
you must keep if you are living by Law, not Grace. See Deuteronomy 23:13
on the paddle below which makes the doctrine of the feces paddle clear.

This paddle is also very useful to those Christians who live by Grace alone. You
can buy one of these, and give it to your Law keeping friend to show them that
they have failed to keep all the law and are in risk of damnation. This may help
them get out of the Slough of Despond of Law and onto the glorious road to
Liberty by faith in Christ Jesus.

Here are some people who need a feces paddle:

Seventh Day Adventists

Seventh Day Baptists

Hebrew Roots People

Yawehist Cult

Fundamental Baptists who insist on keeping "Baptist Standards"

World Wide Church of God people

Even Orthodox Jews may want to buy our feces paddle

 


This verse proves that Moses' Law, given by Jehovah God, required
every law keeping Jew to carry a feces paddle. There was NO text
in the teachings of Jesus Christ or the Apostle Paul revoking this law.
Thus, any Christian trying to live by Law, instead of Grace, is bound
to obey God and carry a feces paddle.

 


This is the New Testament teaching on keeping the Law while trying
to live by Faith. Many believers need to be delivered from the bondage
of Law Keeping, and this paddle will force them to confront their silly
devotion to Law and return to live a life of Liberty in Christ Jesus.

 

How will your Law Keeping friends respond
when they see your feces paddle?

NO LONGER AVAILABLE
I had so little interest in this that I have
dropped the thing. The point is made
clear though.

 

 


You will notice the guy toward the upper left corner
who is not rejoicing that you are a Law Keeper.
He is the only idiot in the crowd who is living
in the liberty of Grace.

 

HELP!

To our friends.... If someone wants to donate a button machine, we could add a lampoon Law Keeper's, and a Grace Keeper's, button to wear in the marketplace and to the church house. These would be great for wearing while walking around at an SDA or Hebrew Roots event.

SEND MAIL if you would like to donate a good used button machine.

There are a lot of other buttons we could add also for wearing on Sundays when the preacher is doing unbiblical things, like on Faith Promise Sunday and Paycheck Sunday, and for church business meetings etc. Endless possibilities :-)

 

BACK TO ENTRY PAGE OF THE JOURNAL

BACK TO WAR ROOM

BACK TO HEBREW ROOTS PAGE

 

ge