REFORMED THEOLOGY
ACCORDING TO GOOGLE VIDEO

If this page makes you uncomfortable, GOOD!
Some of you "good godly" Reformed people need to be kicked out of your intellectual comfort zone regarding your smug theology.

 

MY METHOD: I am using satire on this page. In fact, this page is ALL satire. This method was used by Jesus and the Apostle Paul to great effect. I intend to offend you. This is not done in hate but in love. The problem is this-- Reformation churches, including some strays like the Primitive Baptists and Dallas Seminary, have a VERY warped view of almost every doctrine they hold.

So, consider the extremes and the bizarre definitions implied in the musical pieces that are assigned to each doctrine. What do you think? Send mail if you like. Find the e-mail address by following the icon at the bottom of the page.

NOTE: Since there are embedded videos on this page, once you load one, it will keep loading even though you stop it. So, to move on to another video without a long wait, from time to time hit the reload button on your browser.

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ELECTION

I Don't Love You, and You Don't Love Me

Biblical literalists claim that "God so love the world" implies that he is "not willing that any should perish. But, we know, from reading the great source Calvin's Institutes, that God does not REALLY love all men.

The Great "I Am" of John Calvin


Reformed Assurance-- Brief Version

In recognition of the deep intellectual and theological depths of Reformed thinking, I felt this song would keep pace with the Reformed mind set very well.

 

THE WILL OF MAN

Reformed thinkers view of those who stupidly believe the sinners
all have a choice to receive the Gospel.....
"Whosoever will may come...."
It just ain't necessarily so, right?

 

LIMITED ATONEMENT

All The Lonely People-- Damned by Default

 

TOTAL DEPRAVITY

You're No Good

 

Dr. Croce capsulizes the spirit of John Calvin.
Leroy Brown

 

Theologian Flip expands on the doctrine of Hamartiology
The Devil Made Me Do It

 

PERSEVERANCE OF THE SAINTS

According to Our Son of the Mafia.....
It is an old heritage we have in John Calvin and Martin Luther-- When we
don't get what we want, we bash our way in by brute force.

 

I'll Get By..........

 

The gullibility of Arminians
We see the simple minded confidence of those who actually expect to
step into heaven at any moment. It is almost embarrassing, right?

 

ESCHATOLOGY

The sad condition of anyone who is sure of the future.....
Anthem Of Those Who Wait Without Knowing What They Wait For

 

Since we cannot be sure how to interpret the Bible on future things,
it is best to know nothing:
The famous Reformed theologian, Dr. Schultz, shows us how to avoid pointless certainties.

 

Here is a typical literalist authority claiming there will be an.....
End of The World
We just cannot be sure of the future, right?

 

Again, those primitive Arminian Black folks live in superstition and simplicity.....
Compelled to be busy for Jesus until the end.
How sad!

 

IRRESISTIBLE GRACE

You can't say NO forever

 

Here is the Heretical Notion that Jesus Really Meant, "Come....."
Everyone knows that Jesus said "Most of you, don't come unto me
no matter how weary and heavy laden you are."
Saying, "Come unto Jesus" is just hick burp doctrine from Appalachia

 

CREEDS AND CONFESSIONS ARE ESSENTIAL

What do you believe? We Reformed folks believe.
And our confession says so

Here are some more believers with their confession

Just have a confession, any confession, right?

 

PREACHING THE GOSPEL

If you find it hard to give the Gospel to sinners, fear not.....
Here is the great Reformed aologetic happered out at Calvin Seminary, Grand Rapids, MI, USA
Jelly Roll Evangelism

 

"Go Ye" Preachers Are Shallow Theologically-- This again is the sad
state of simple minded saints who actually believe they are under some
compulsion from God to speak of their salvation to damned strangers.
Classic Arminian, Reverend Dan Smith, teaches great error.

 

FLAUNT YOUR BLESSINGS--
PEOPLE NEED TO SEE HOW MUCH MORE GOD LOVES YOU THAN HE LOVES THEM

When You're Hot, You're Hot
Are we Reformed saints not the hottest commodity on earth right now?
Let us strut our election and preservation so the damned fools of
the world will see how good God is to us.

 

I'm A Star
As the Dutch Reformed say, "If you're not Dutch, you're not much."

 

PERSONAL HOLINESS

Since we cannot lose our salvation, we ought not to worry too much
about sin in our lives. After all, if we cannot lose it, then God really must
just put up with our arrogance, right?
Enjoy yourself

 

Some people (like this singing group) suffer from guilt and fear of sin.
Not us Reformed folks-- We can sin all we want, and God is stuck with us.

 

This could never happen to a Reformation member.....
Baptized in their mother's arms, catechized, confirmed, sanforized,
and exalted to the vestry or the synod.
What a pity-- these poor souls and their fear of sin.

 

Well, those poor Negroes are worrying one another about holiness again.....
"You've got to give an account in the judge'ment"
Ha, not us elected folks-- God is stuck with us as we are.

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Well, all you Reformed folks--
How did you like this view of your private interpretation of the Word of God?

I bet you need to go get Calvin's Institutes off the shelf and get some good comfort from that murderer from Geneva, right? His legal language and verbosity is a lot more practical, for it gives you lots of room to hide your uncertainty.

 

1 Corinthians 8:2 And if any man think that he knoweth any thing, he knoweth nothing yet as he ought to know. 1 Corinthians 8:3 But if any man love God, the same is known of him.

Luke 14:11 For whosoever exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.

Proverbs 11:2 When pride cometh, then cometh shame: but with the lowly is wisdom.

Proverbs 16:18 Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.

Matthew 23:12 And whosoever shall exalt himself shall be abased; and he that shall humble himself shall be exalted.

Proverbs 26:12 Seest thou a man wise in his own conceit? there is more hope of a fool than of him.

Romans 12:16 Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits.

Galatians 6:3 For if a man think himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself. Galatians
4 But let every man prove his own work, and then shall he have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another. Galatians
5 For every man shall bear his own burden.

 

PS
To the verbose John Calvin and his Theological blather, bluster, and bull:

 

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IS THERE AN ALTERNATIVE TO THIS CONFUSION?

ANSWER: THE KING JAMES BIBLE.

Pitch all your creeds, confessions, doctrinal statements, commentaries, and high toned discussions, and use only the Word of God as you authority. If this is not sufficient to define your faith, you don't really have any.

2 Timothy 3:16 All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
17 That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works.

If you cannot be complete in Christ without all your Reformed add ons, you are not "throughly furnished," and that means you are not a Christian. If the Word of God alone cannot make you right with God, then go chase your toys. But, I warn you-- you are damned to hell. There is no hope for anyone who insists that the Word of God is not enough for them.

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LETTER FROM A READER:

According to one Protestant web site I visited long ago the reason that reformers follow people like Calvin and Luther without question is because of their established interpretation of Matthew 10:18-20: "And ye shall be brought before governors and kings for my sake, for a testimony against them and the Gentiles. But when they deliver you up, take no thought how or what ye shall speak: for it shall be given you in that same hour what ye shall speak. For it is not ye that speak, but the Spirit of your Father which speaketh in you."

The reformers interpret this passage to mean that doctrine like John Calvin's TULIP was inspired by God the father himself and therefore is infallible. Paul on the other hand has this to say: "All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:" - 2 Timothy 3:16

The only thing inspired by God is the scriptures. Therefore whatever doctrine is preached by these men must still be proved by the scripture. "Prove all things; hold fast that which is good." - 1 Thessalonians 5:21 "For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears; And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables." - 2 Timothy 4:3-4

Joseph D.

Editor: I have never heard this, but it certainly follows well on the heals of the Reformers and Puritans who placed way too much trust in human revelation. To simply claim it is inspired of God is a clear step back to the Whore of Rome, and that too is not surprise. So, we can assume that this heresy (bad enough to be damning) must be out there, and if YOU think this is valid, you will burn in hell for eternity for blasphemy.

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If you would like to comment on this article to Steve Van Nattan,
Editor of Blessed Quietness Journal, go to the Send Mail page to send email.

 

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