is the only state in the USA that does not export its inflation. We wipe it
out by raising production and by exporting. What is our main export? Answer:
Attitude- Help yourself- It could save America
is time to introduce my readers to The Republic of Texas. The United States was
annexed to Texas in 1845 if they behave themselves. The other 49 states are still
on probation. Texas is the only state in the USA that entered the union by a treaty.
of these stories are based in fact and history, and most of them have been subjected
to a little stretching of the blanket to help you appreciate them more.
WITH IT, HONEY, AND..... DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS
DID DAD AND MOM FIGHT BORECOM IN OLD TEXAS?
FERAL HOGS IN TEXAS [CAUTION- GRAPHIC]
SCHOOLING IN TEXAS
Texans, 50 and up, were HOME SCHOOLED in many ways .
My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill
each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." 2. My mother taught
me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." 3. My
father taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going
to knock you into the middle of next week!" 4. My father taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why ." 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me." 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear
clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." 7. My father taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about." 8. My mother
taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Just you look at that dirt
on the back of your neck!" 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll
sit there until all that spinach is gone." 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." 12. My mother
taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times,
don't exaggerate!" 13. My father taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought
you into this world, and I can take you out..." 14. My mother taught me about
BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION . "Stop acting like your father!" 15. My mother
taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this
world who don't have wonderful parents like you do." 16. My mother taught
me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home." 17. My mother taught
me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it from your father when you get
home!" 18 . My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing
your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way." 19. My mother taught me
ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?" 20.
My father taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't
come running to me." 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If
you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." 22. My mother taught
me GENETICS. "You're just like your father." 23. My mother taught me about
my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand.
25. My father taught me about JUSTICE . "One day you'll have kids, and
I hope they turn out just like you!" 26. My father taught me CULLINARY ESTHETICS "You
are going to eat that squash, or you are going to wear it." 27. My father
taught me to TAKE CARE OF MY TOOLS "If you leave that shovel out in the
weather again, you are going to sleep with it."
had to watch this one more than once. You need to go to Texas
Country Reporter, and watch more of these feel good videos about Texas, especially
you Liberal Democrats who mock and kick at Texas. We have some of the world's
most special people here.
HITCHENS PRESENTS TEXAS
of the most nasty Atheists on earth recently entered eternity, and I suspect he
has some deep regrets about his use of his life spiritually. But, I was amazed
to see his very excellent documentary on Texas. I think he rather fairly dealt
with all the sides of Texas life.
AND MILES OF TEXAS
this is a little crazy, but I like these folks from Natchitoches, Texas. If
you think I could have found a better one, tough..... Deal with it.
IS OK TO COME FROM ARKANSAS TO GET COMFORTABLE IN TEXAS
is shouting time in Siloam Spring, Arkansas
do with just one honey.....
A CATHOLIC MISSION IN WEST TEXAS
O'Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new west
Texas mission parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath
of the beautiful day outside.
then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He
promptly called the local sheriff.
conversation went like this:
morning. This is Sheriff Jones. How might I help you?"
the best of the day te yerself. This is Father O'Malley at St. Ann 's Catholic
Church. There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn and would ye be so kind
as to send a couple o'yer lads to take care of the matter?"
Jones, considering himself quite a wit and recognizing the foreign accent, thought
he would have a little fun with the good father, replied.....
now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last
was dead silence on the line for a long moment. Father O'Malley then replied:
'tis certainly true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin first,
which is the reason for me call."
READERS FROM TEXAS.....
is some food for thought, especially the response from the banking guru on
keeping the brightest immigrants instead of running them back across the border.
This may explain why Rick Perry is so reluctant to jump on the knee jerk far right
immigration band wagon. I have felt that the really bright immigrants should be
kept here, and some not so academic immigrants also could fill a place in the
destiny of the State.
me, how many of your kids or grandkids want to pick lettuce or work on road crews
in 120 degrees? There simply needs to be a politically incorrect standard set
up in which we decide who we need and who we do not need, and send the rest home.
Other nations in the world do this.
do we need to punish ourselves by taking losers and physically weak people here.
If we want to show them compassion, go to the effort to send Peace Corp people,
or other aid personnel, to Mexico and help them out of their sorrows at home.
The idea that we are morally obligated to support all the world's indigents is
madness. This plan depends 100% of you and me being suckers and feeling guilty
because someone in Bangladesh is hungry. The only guilt we need to feel is if
we could do something about the hungry people but do nothing. Trolling for all
the hungry people in the world, and inviting them to come and live as dependents
in America, is madness and will result in all of us being hungry in the end.
DON'T FORGET, EVEN THE TOUGH MEMORIES
FEMA builds camps in every state to inure people they refuse to identify now,
we in Texas better not forget when the US Government turned a city in Texas into
an unjust and shameful place to abuse American citizens. Do we need to bulldoze
the FEMA camps now before they again become purgatory to American citizens? Are
we so helpless in Texas that we cannot do just some things for ourselves?
TO MAKE YOU WARM IN WISCONSIN
THOUGH THERE IS NO SUCH NEWSPAPER IN HOUSTON, THE STORY SURE SOUNDS LIKE TEXAS
HOUSTON HERALD NEWSPAPER IN HOUSTON, TEXAS March 5th, 2009
Thursday night round midnight, a woman in Houston, Texas was arrested, jailed,
and charged with manslaughter for shooting a man 6 times in the back as he was
running away with her purse.
following Monday morning, the woman was called in front of the arraignment judge,
sworn in, and asked to explain her actions. The woman replied, "I was standing
at the corner bus stop for about 15 minutes, waiting for the bus to take me home
after work. I am a waitress at a local cafe. I was there alone, so I had my right
hand on my pistol, that was in my purse, that was hung over my left shoulder.
"All of a sudden I was being spun around hard to my left. As I caught my balance,
I saw a man running away from me with my purse.
looked down at my right hand and I saw that my fingers were wrapped tightly around
my pistol. The next thing I remember is saying out loud, 'No way punk! Your not
stealing my pay check and tips.'
raised my right hand, pointed my pistol at the man running away from me with my
purse, and squeezed the trigger of my pistol six times!"
asked by the arraignment judge, "Why did You shoot the man six times?" the woman
replied under oath, "Because, when I pulled the trigger of my pistol the seventh
time, it only went click."
woman was acquitted of all charges. And she was back at work, at the cafe, the
If this had happened, according to Texas law, the woman would have had the right
to pursue the thief as long as he was in possession of the purse. The gun simply
relieved her of the unnecessary stress of running while shooting.
CAN MESS WITH EACH OTHER THOUGH
in 1971, Rep. Tom (not "Tim") Moore, Jr. of Waco, Texas, knowing
that his fellow legislators in the Texas House of Representatives often passed
bills and resolutions without fully reading or understanding them, pulled an April
Fool's joke on the House by sponsoring a resolution commending Albert de Salvo
for his unselfish service to "his county, his state and his community." The resolution
read, in part:
compassionate gentleman's dedication and devotion to his work has enabled the
weak and the lonely throughout the nation to achieve and maintain a new degree
of concern for their future. He has been officially recognized by the state of
Massachusetts for his noted activities and unconventional techniques involving
population control and applied psychology.
joke, of course, was that Albert de Salvo was more commonly known as the Boston
Strangler, assumed to be responsible for the murders of thirteen women
in the Boston area between 1962 and 1964. Technically, de Salvo was never convicted
or put on trial for any of those killings, he was sentenced to life in prison
for sexual assaults on several other women and confessed to the thirteen murders
as well. He was stabbed to death in prison in 1973, and whether he actually committed
the murders he confessed to has been a subject of controversy ever since. As he
expected, Rep. Moore saw his resolution passed unanimously; he then withdrew it
and explained that he had offered the motion only to demonstrate a point. A bit
of sardonic humor offered at the time claimed that perhaps Moore was wrong: maybe
the legislators had been paying attention.
we would hope our elected representatives would pay enough attention to their
jobs not to pass resolutions commending murderers, that Moore's stunt succeeded
wasn't necessarily as outrageous as it might seem. Federal and state legislators
see a steady stream of resolutions that have no real legal impact and are offered
mostly as public relations measures on behalf of one group or another. Poring
over each and every one would take an inordinate amount of a legislator's time
(especially in states like Texas where the legislature might be in session only
every two years, creating a large number of bills and resolutions to be voted
upon in a very short time.) If a fellow legislator introduces a resolution to
honor some favored person or group, you're expected to rubber stamp it as a gesture
of good wil, after all, you'll want him to return the favor when you need to boost
your popularity with your constituents by extending similar honors to some of
is the land of the Bowie knife invented by Colonel James "Jim" Bowie and made
famous in Texas as a better fighting weapon than a gun..... until, that is, the
Colt revolver was invented. It is now specifically forbidden to carry a "Bowie
knife" anywhere in the arms law of Texas. That is how deadly they are. So,
we now settle for a Colt 45. Get caught with a Bowie knife on you in Texas, and
you will at least lose the knife to the sheriff's deputy, and you may end up being
given free rent on the state for a couple of weeks mandatory vacation in one of
Texas' famous resorts funded by the tax payers.
THEY SAY, "DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS."
told that in the politically correct manner, I must admit that there are a lot
of Bowie knives on the loose in Texas. Most of them hang on the wall all the time,
which is legal. I few go hunting in old pickup trucks where they are used to kill
feral by idiots who don't know any better and crave a visit to ER. It is something
about testosterone and Bud Lite.
DOG ON DUTY AT OUR PLACE And his apprentice
TEXAS IS TOO MUCH FOR FOLKS
reminds me of the day we went to Tulsa from Briartown when we lived in Oklahoma
along the Canadian River. I heard a horrible racket, and I asked my Dad what it
was. He pointed to an old car moving slowly down the main boulevard of Tulsa,
and I looked close and realized the guy had no tires on his car. Dad said the
guy was left over poor from the Great Depression and could not afford tires. The
police had not pulled him over yet. Things will sure change again if the USA goes
south economically. The ones who survive will be those who learn to make do.
same day in Tulsa I saw a car with a chain dangling from the read axle and dragging
the ground. That too was left over from the Dust Bowl when cars build up huge
static charges from dust blowing that knocked people on the ground when they grabbed
the door handle.
IS A GREAT TOURIST ATTRACTION
complain and gripe in Texas about "illegals"..... Unless they pick
lettuce for us, Unless they break horses for our ranchers, Unless they cook
fajitas and chile rellenos in our favorite Mexican restaurant for us, Unless
they drive fence posts for us, Unless the illegal baby they have here becomes
a US Senator- Then we brag on him, Unless they work on road crews at 112 degrees
in the sun for us, Unless they go back to Mexico and send their uncle to take
their place..... Otherwise Mexicans are going to take over Texas sooo nuff. You
can never be too careful, son.
BEER JOINT SUES A BAPTIST CHURCH
a small Texas town, ( Mt. Vernon ) Drummond's bar began construction on a new
building to increase their business.
local Baptist church started a campaign to block the bar from opening with petitions
progressed right up till the week before opening when lightning struck the bar
and it burned to the ground.
church folks were rather smug in their outlook after that, until the bar owner
sued the church on the grounds that the church was ultimately responsible for
the demise of his building, either through direct or indirect actions or means.
vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection to the building's demise
in its reply to the court.
the case made its way into court, the judge looked over the paperwork. At the
hearing he commented, 'I don't know how I'm going to decide this, but as it appears
from the paperwork, we have a bar owner who believes in the power of prayer, and
an entire church congregation that does not.'
WHEN WE MOVED FROM ROANE COUNTY, TENNESSEE TO BOOGIE BACK TO TEXAS, I SOLD
MY HOT ROD 1977 LINCOLN.
ARE ELIZABETH AND I AT ROANE COUNTY PARK IN TENNESSEE WITH THE LINCOLN.
LIFE IS GOOD IN TEXAS, BUT I SURE DO MISS THAT LINCOLN. NOW, SOME NICE BAPTIST
WHO HAS FALLEN BEHIND ON HIS TITHES SHOULD CONSIDER SENDING ME ANOTHER HOT
ROD LINCOLN. PREFER 1977-1979, BUT
ANY LINCOLN WILL DO. I AIN'T PICKY.
MAN BEAT AT HIS GAME BY A TEXAS RED NECK
redneck with a bucket full of live fish, was approached recently by a game warden
in Texas as he started to drive his boat away from a lake.
game warden asked the man, "May I see your fishing license please?"
sir," replied the redneck. "I don't need none of them there papers. These here
are my pet fish."
Once a week, I bring these here fish o'mine down to the lake and let 'em swim
'round for a while. Then when I whistle, they swim right back into my net and
I take 'em home."
a line of baloney....you're under arrest."
redneck said, "It's the truth, Mr. Gov'ment man. I'll show ya! We do this all
do, now, do WE?" smirked the warden. "PROVE it!"
redneck released the fish into the lake and stood and waited.
a few minutes, the warden said, "Well?"
WHUT?" said the redneck.
warden asked, "When are you going to call em back?"
FISH," replied the warden!
fish?" asked the redneck.
a student at Lone Star College in Houston, along with two friends, took down the
my friend, you are a real Texan. America worries about what to do about gun violence,
Well, you learned graphically that violence can be had many ways. If our leaders
would exalt the righteous, the valiant, and the bright folks, we would need to
outlaw no weapons. After all, this creep used a box knife, not a machine gun.
long tradition in Texas that whoever is on hand when violent men attack is totally
qualified to take charge. You simply have kept the Texas tradition up to date.
read somewhere that some archaeologists recently made a dig in San Francisco.
They dug down about twenty feet, and they found a mess of copper wire. They dated
it, and decided it was over 100 years old. From this they deduced that San Francisco
had an advanced communications system over one hundred years ago.
I went out back on my property and did my own dig.
you don't dig much keeper than four feet in the Texas Hill Country because of
the rocks. If you want to dig deeper than that, you need an explosives permit
and a couple sticks of dynamite.
found no copper wire nor any indications of technology in my dig, so using the
logic of the alleged science of archaeology, I determined that Texas was way ahead
of San Francisco one hundred years ago.
was already wireless.
like to walk from our ranch (er, ranchito) out to the main road, about a mile,
especially when I have spent too much time sitting here clacking the keys to keep
you Gringos amused for a few hours. It clears the mind.
the other day I was on a walk, and I saw that the Democrats are back. By Democrats
I refer to the Turkey Vultures that sit in the trees around here this time of
year. I had noticed a lot of animal skeletons laying around on previous walks,
and I gathered that those feathered Democrats were hanging around over a curve
in the road where slow critters were hit by speeding Billy Bobs in their old pickup
the other day, on my walk, I had stopped to look at something, and I glanced up
at the Democrat birds in the trees. Everyone of those vultures had his head cocked
keeping an eye on me to see if I was fixing to drop dead. I do believe they were
reading the menu, and I was the menu.
once I commenced to jump about and wave my arms and get to walking fast. Those
varmints did not believe me. They kept looking at me like a flank steak on the
griddle. So, in desperation, I yelled, "Adjourned." On hearing this,
those Democrat vultures hopped into the air, and the whole quorum flew away.
When you are in Texas, KEEP MOVING.
OLD WOMAN, HAVE YOU EVER DANCED?
just love a story with a happy ending, don't you? This one comes courtesy of a
friend who sent it via email instead of posting it – I suppose she didn’t want
to put her name on it, but I’m happy to retell it!
story takes place in a brushy country south of San Antonio, Texas, sometime in
the past. It starts when a tired, dusty old woman rode in on an equally dusty
and old pack mule. She tied the old mule to the hitching post. As she stood there,
brushing some of the dust from her face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped
out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.
gunslinger looked at the old woman and laughed, "Hey old woman, have you ever
old woman looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, I never did dance... I never
really wanted to."
crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, you old bag, you're
gonna dance now," and started shooting at the old woman's feet. Not wanting to
get her toe blown off, the old prospector started hopping around while the crowd
laughed. When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing,
holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.
old woman turned to her pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked
both hammers. The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air. The crowd
stopped laughing immediately.
young gunslinger heard the sounds, too, and he turned around very slowly. The
silence was almost deafening. The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at
the old woman and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels.
barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old woman's hands, as she politely
said, "Son, have you ever kissed a mule's ass?"
gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No M'am... but I've always wanted to."
FROM THE TEXAS HILL COUNTRY
fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.
skunks, bankers, lawyers, and politicians at a distance.
Life is simpler when you mow AROUND the stump. The alternative is why there is
a very successful store chain named "Tractor Supply."
bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.
that soak into your ears are whispered…...not yelled.
don't just happen overnight.
your enemies; it messes up their heads.
not corner something that you know is meaner than you.
don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.
cannot unsay a cruel word.
path has a few puddles.
sensible skunk sprays upwind.
you wallow with pigs, the pigs love it, and you get real dirty.
best sermons are lived, not preached.
of the stuff people worry about, ain't never gonna happen anyway.
't judge a fellow by his relatives or horse.
that silence is sometimes the best answer.
a good and honorable life, then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy
it a second time.
interfere with somethin' that ain't bothering you none.
has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
you get, and sometimes you get got.
biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from
the mirror every mornin'.
drink upstream from the herd.
judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.
you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's
simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly, and leave the rest to God.
pick a fight with an old man.
he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you.
drink and drive in Williamson County unless you need a vacation real bad. Their
jail is a regular resort area.
DO WE SHOOT DEER IN THE WILD IN TEXAS?
letter from someone who wants to remain anonymous, who ranches, writes well, and
actually tried this)
had this idea that I could rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn
for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The first step in this adventure
was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder
and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes
come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck
not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss
a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.
filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The cattle, having
seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it.
After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up-- 3 of them. I picked out a likely looking
one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just
stood there and stared at me. I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the
end so I would have a good hold.
deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned
about the whole rope situation. I took a step towards it, it took a step away.
I put a little tension on the rope, and then received an education. The first
thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there looking at you
funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on
deer EXPLODED. The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a
LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could
fight down with a rope and with some dignity. A deer-- no Chance. That thing ran
and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no
getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across
the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good
an idea as I had originally imagined. The only upside is that they do not have
as much stamina as many other animals.
brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my
feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize
this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my
head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to
get that devil creature off the end of that rope.
figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely
die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between
me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess
that the feeling was mutual. Despite the gash in my head and the several large
knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against
various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly
enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount
of responsibility for the situation we were in. I didn't want the deer to have
to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck
and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand...kind of like a squeeze
chute. I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope
you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have thought
that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when ..... I reached
up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist. Now, when a
deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and
slide off to then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head--almost like a
pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.
proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly.
I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective.
seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely
only several seconds. I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning
that claim by now), tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of
my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose.
was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.
will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet
and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly
sharp... I learned a long time ago that, when an animal -like a horse --strikes
at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is
try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This
will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.
was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would not work.
In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy. I screamed like
a woman and tried to turn and run. The reason I had always been told NOT to try
to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that
it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses
after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second
I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.
a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately leave. I suspect
it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw
your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a
little girl and covering your head.
finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away. So now I know
why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope......to sort of
even the odds!!
24:21 My son, fear thou the LORD and the king: and meddle not with them that
are given to change: Why is it that people who do not tolerate change
in their Bar B Que'd brisket will run from fad church to fad church to find
a perpetual "new thing?" Acts 17:21 For all
the Athenians and strangers which were there spent their time in nothing else,
but either to tell, or to hear some new thing.
TEXANS DON'T ALL WEAR SPURS
Moody was the County Prosecutor for Williamson County who made the first successful
conviction of Ku Klux Klan members in US History, later to become Attorney General
of Texas, and even later, at age 31 to be elected the youngest governor in Texas
when Moody was sixteen he applied to University of Texas Law School. He was turned
down, not because he did not have good grades and prospects, but simply because
he was too young. He got a job with a local power company and was a lineman for
a year, and a good one. The power company was impressed with Moody's hard work.
one hot humid day, a common specialty in central Texas, Moody was hanging on a
power pole sweating and working. He heard a woodpecker hammering away nearby,
and Moody climbed down, resigned from the power company and reapplied to University
of Texas Law School.
when asked what made him decide to quit and reapply, Moody said, "I figured
that if a woodpecker could make a living using his head, so could I."
will explain why, if you are a free loader and gold brick, that is, if you have
chosen as a life calling to be a lazy slob, Texas will make it very hard for you
to get a free lunch forever in Texas.
THE LIBERAL BENT IN RECENT YEARS OF THE BBC (British Broadcasting Corporation),
I WAS AMAZED AT THE FAIRNESS OF THIS VIDEO. AMERICAN LIBERALS NEED TO UNDERSTAND
THAT IN TEXAS, AND MANY OTHER STATES, WHERE GUNS ARE COMMONLY OWNED, AND WHERE
THE CASTLE DOMAIN LAWS ARE IN FORCE, THERE IS ALMOST NO VIOLENT CRIME OUTSIDE
THE WORST PARTS OF OUR CITIES. EVEN IN OUR CITIES, OUR CRIME RATE IS MUCH LOWER
THAN IN YOUR LIBERAL HELL HOLES. COMPARE CHICAGO TO DALLAS OR AUSTIN. WATCH
THE VIDEO, AND PLEASE CONSIDER YOUR OWN SAFETY. IF YOU THINK TEXAS IS
MAD, THEN PLEASE STAY IN YOUR STATE OF ILLUSION.
flag must fly with the red down because red runs, and Texans never run.
say that Virginia is the mother of Texas. We never knew who the father
was, but we kinda suspected Tennessee." - Tex Ritter..... Singing, "I've
got the Texas blues"
Other city names
in Texas , to make you smile......... Frognot , Texas 75424 Bigfoot
, Texas 78005 Hogeye , Texas 75423 Cactus , Texas 79013 Notrees , Texas
79759 Best, Texas 76932 Veribest , Texas 76886 Kickapoo , Texas 75763 Dime
Box , Texas 77853 Old Dime Box , Texas 77853 Telephone , Texas 75488 Telegraph
, Texas 76883 Whiteface , Texas 79379 Twitty, Texas 79079
last but not least, the Anti-Al Gore City Kilgore , Texas 75662
And our favorites... Cut
n Shoot, Texas Gun Barrell City , Texas Hoop And Holler, Texas Ding Dong,
Texas and, of course, Muleshoe , Texas
is what Jeff Foxworthy and I have to say about folks from Texas ...
If someone in a Lowe's store offers you assistance and they don't work there,
you may live in Texas ;
If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Texas ;
If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong
number, you may live in Texas ;
If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of Dallas for the weekend, you may live
in Texas ;
If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Texas ;
If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in
If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked,
you may live in Texas ;
If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you
may live in Texas
If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph --you're going 80 and everybody's
passing you, you may live in Texas ;
If you find 60 degrees 'a little chilly,' you may live in Texas ;
If you actually understand these jokes, and share them with all your Texas friends,
you definitely live in Texas.
you ask for unsweetened ice tea, and the waitress says they only have sweet tea,
you are either in Texas or Tennessee.
you are parked on the side of the road, and someone stops and asks, "Do y'all
need help?," you are in Texas.
you see a pick up truck stop, and the driver fires a pistol out the window, you
are watching a Texan kill a rattle snake.
you are ordering bar-b-que, and the server asks, "Moist or dry?," that
means with or without the fat in Texas.
you see a line formed clear around the block, in Texas thery are waiting to buy
the High School football team plays in a professional stadium, you are in Texas.
the beer name changes with the seasons, you are in Texas.
85 MPH sign means you are on a Texas toll road.
you see a couple of horses at a fast food joint, you may be in Texas.
a small town has only one fast food joint, and it is Dairy Queen, you are in Texas.
you're ever traveling on 35, and you make it a point to grab some kolaches from
Czech Stop, you are a Texan.
the car ahead of you has a bumper sticker that says, "secede," you are
you see a man in cowboy boots and shorts, he is NOT from Texas.
a Hispanic grandma is roving the parking lot selling tamales, you are in Texas.
you can get frostbite and sun burn at the same time, you are in Texas.
a broken air conditioner makes you panic, you are from Texas.
you would rather stop at Buckee's than go to Disneyland, you are a true Texan.
you drive through the whole parking lot to look for a shaded space, you are from
you call all soft drinks Coke, you are from Texas.
you know Taco Bell is not Mexican food, you must be from Texas.
you know that anything can be chicken fried, even bacon, you are from Texas.
know you are in Texas if you experience bi-polar weather.
you know that Texas could survive wihtout the USA, but the USA could not survive
without Texas, you are a true Texan.
you have to switch from heat to A/C on the same day, you are in Texas.
being accepted into University of Texas is better than being accepted into Harvard,
you are a Texan.
you carry cow bells to a football game, you are in Texas.
you would drive fifty miles to get donuts from Round Rock Donuts, you are a true
you take your wife out for dinner and eat at Whataburger, you are a Texan.
you only eat Blue Bell ice cream, you are a Texan.
are a Texan if the only real bar-b-que is made with brisket.
know you are in Dallas if a bridge froze over, and there are twenty five cars
and six wreckers in the median.
you are sure you have seen a chupacabra, you are a true Texan.
you drive with only two fingers on the steering wheel during the summer, you are
you know that George Strait is not a waterway, you are from Texas.
you decided to take a trip to see America, and half your time was spent getting
out of, and back into, Texas, well, need I say more?
you hear gunfire most evenings nearby, you are either in Chicago or the Texas
you know that Frito pie is not a dessert, you are probably from Texas.
you are at work on the opening day of deer season, you are NOT from Texas.
are some little known, very interesting facts about Texas .
Beaumont to El Paso : 742 miles 2.
Beaumont to Chicago : 770 miles 3.
El Paso is closer to California than to Dallas 4.
World's first rodeo was in Pecos , July 4, 1883. 5.
The Flagship Hotel in Galveston is the only hotel in North America built over
water. Destroyed by Hurricane Ike -2008! 6.
The Heisman Trophy was named after John William Heisman who was the first full-time
coach at Rice University in Houston . 7.
Brazoria County has more species of birds than any other area in North America 8.
Aransas Wildlife Refuge is the winter home of North America 's only remaining
flock of whooping cranes. 9.
Jalapeno jelly originated in Lake Jackson in 1978. 10.
The worst natural disaster in U.S.... history was in 1900, caused by a hurricane,
in which over 8,000 lives were lost on Galveston Island . 11.
The first word spoken from the moon, July 20,1969, was " Houston ," but the space
center was actually in Clear Lake City at the time. 12.
King Ranch in South Texas is larger than Rhode Island .. 13.
Tropical Storm Claudette brought a U.S. rainfall record of 43' in 24 hours in
and around Alvin in July of 1979... 14.
Texas is the only state to enter the U.S. by TREATY, (known as the Constitution
of 1845 by the Republic of Texas to enter the Union ) instead of by annexation.
This allows the Texas Flag to fly at the same height as the U.S. Flag, and may
divide into 5 states. 15.
A Live Oak tree near Fulton is estimated to be 1500 years old. 16.
Caddo Lake is the only natural lake in the state. 17.
Dr Pepper was invented in Waco in 1885. There is no period in Dr Pepper.. 18.
Texas has had six capital cities: Washington
-on- the Brazos, Harrisburg , Galveston ,Velasco, West Columbia and Austin ... 19.
The Capitol Dome in Austin is the only dome in the U.S. which is taller than the
Capitol Building in Washington DC (by 7 feet). 20.
The San Jacinto Monument is the tallest free standing monument in the world and
it is taller than the Washington monument. 21.
The name ' Texas ' comes from the Hasini Indian word 'tejas' meaning friends.
Tejas is not Spanish for Texas. 22.
The State Mascot is the Armadillo (an interesting bit of trivia about the armadillo
is they always have four babies. They have one egg, which splits into four, and
they either have four males or four females.). 23.
The first domed stadium in the U.S. was the Astrodome in Houston .
Cowboy's Ten Commandments
(Posted on the wall at Cross Trails Church in Fairlie , Texas)
Just one God. (2) Honor yer Ma & Pa. (3) No telling tales or gossipin'. (4)
Git yourself to Sunday meeting. (5) Put nothin' before God. (6) No foolin'
around with another fellow's gal. (7) No killin'. (8) Watch yer mouth. (9)
Don't take what ain't yers. (10) Don't be hankerin' for yer buddy's stuff.
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